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Jokes
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

How are woman's breasts like electric train sets?
They were originally intended for the kids, but Daddy always winds up playing with them.

A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A cop was approaching from about a block away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse." But, as he got closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out. When the officer got face to face with the woman, he said,
"Miss, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" the woman asked.
"Well," said the officer, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness! I left the baby on the bus!"

Two guys are talking in a bar.
One of them proclaims, "I'm a breast man, myself."
The other replies, "You know, that's awfully sexist!"
The first corrects himself, "You're right. I'm a breast *person*."

Once there was a girl who wanted larger breasts. So one day she went to see her doctor, Dr. Smith. Dr. Smith told her to rub her breasts and repeat the following: "SCOOBIE, DOOBIE, DOOBIE, I WANT BIGGER BOOBIES".
One day she was running late and decided to do her exercises on the bus when a guy came up to her and asked if she was a patient of Dr. Smith's. To which she replied: "Yes how did you know?".
He replied with one hand in his pocket: "HICKERY DICKERY DOC!"

Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30 minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.
Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients -- half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. The study revealed that after five years, the chest watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There is no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

A man walks into a library, and puts $5,000 on the counter. The librarian looks up, and the man speaks "I bet you $5,000, ma'am, that by this time tomorrow, your nipples will be gone."
The librarian was flabbergasted...all she could manage was "WHAT?!"
The man continutes: "I'm dead serious! Here's the $5000! But by tomorrow, I bet that your nipples will be gone."
The librarian answers "You're on, pervert."
The librarian takes a cab home, to avoid breast-slashing maniacs, and stays away from all sharp objects in her house. She shows up to work a little late the next day, slightly nervous. The man from yesterday walks in, with an accomplice.
"Well?" Asks the man.
With that, the librarian removes her shirt, and proves that her nipples are still in place. The man hands over the $5000, and the
accomplice hands over an envelope.
"What was that all about?" asks the librarian?
"Simple" answers the man. "This guy bet me $20,000 that I couldn't walk in here and get you to show me your tits."

A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.
"I am going to do word association," explained the doctor.
"I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind."
"Oranges," said the doctor.
"Breasts," replied the patient.
"Apples.", "Breasts."
"Watermelons.", "Breasts."
"Wipers.", "Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.
"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers?
Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
"Easy...one on the left and one on the right!"

The 10 most important people in a womans life
10) The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes."
9) The Dentist because he says, "Open Wide."
8) The Hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown."
7) The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"
6) The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
5) The Banker because he says, "If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest."
4) The Police Officer because he says, "Spread 'em."
3) The Mailman because he always delivers his package.
2) The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
1) The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots

Goog girls VS. bad girls
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed. Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.